An extremists canvas

Thursday, October 26, 2006

What a week. the job was so absorbing that I had to stay in the office for more than 18 hours and work tirelessly. And at last, you just feel that you should run away from the place not because you hate it but because you want to feel that there is some life only for you. I am feeling the same. I am planning to go and stay in between woods with people I have no accquaintance. Who don't know me and whom I need not speak because people expect me to. I want to write something. I am scared. I feel that I have lost tuch with my writing!?!?!? But is there such thing like loosing touch!!

Last Sunday (October 22) I celebrated an anniversary of proposing to my girl and I gifted her a cute pendent. she was in tears. ( I never understand girls!). so I was happy. Most of the time, we feel happy only when we make others happy!!!!Strange, but youknow that you have surpassed god and given some smiles to others. Well, my girl is an angel who has been cursed to be born and lead a cursed mortal human life with sufferings. And I am that suffering!!!!

I don't know what is happening to me, but when the job takes so much of your time and energy, you just can't bear it. Ram jaane aage kya hoga!!!!!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

If you are a non kannadiga (people who speak kannada are called kannadigas) you should read a translated version of K P Poornachandra tejasvi's any novel. and if you are a kannadiga and you haven't read Tejasvi!!!! go fall in a gutter and die.

Tejasvi is the son of legendary Kuvempu. He took a land in 'moodagere' in midst of desne thick forest and has lead a farmer's life throughout his life. There are people who say a lot about ideals. but Tejasv's life itself is a book of guidelines of how to live a great exiting, adventurous, and holistic life. His works are filled with humour, science, life and every work gives a different perspective everytime you read it. I read his books for the first time when i was 5th standard and had gone to forest searching for the tigers!! If any reader of this blog knows any other books which changed & challenged your faith and attitude, please read it once more and don't waste your precious time on net.

My story hasn't won the award in a competition. Surprisingly everyone thinks that this is the best story I have ever written and the stories that have won are not as good as mine. Well these thoughts make you feel very happy but the question remains the same. If some thing a piece of art, music, architecture, is really great than why doesn't everyone have the same opinion!? What is great!? Who decides it!? Many say it is based on our taste.! Not true. For many great work are those that have challenged what you always believed, have challenged mediocrity, have "changed" your taste! So it is not the taste. Then is it the non conventional aspects. The thing they say 'it is different' thing that matters.!?!?

May be the story didn't appease the judges. Judgements are like watches. Each tells its own time and still each believes his own!

So how do you please the judges!?!? Or should an artist or anyone do anything like appeasing the other person!? I have not believed in such things. It would be prostitution. Give them what they want and then demand what you want!? It is true that it is good for business. but art is not business! Is it!?!?

They say there is no business like show business. So all the directors and directors who write scripts do business. The stories are designed to woo the audience and the only motive of this art is to make money. What is wrong!? Why should artists always suffer? so that brings us back to the earlier question, Should I write according to the taste of the judges!?!?

Most of the artists are revered after their death! And these artists are those who didn't write for judges. They stuck to their conviction and were honest to their art. So I have to stick to my conviction and die, so people would accept me.........

Of all these thoughts one strikes me the most. Would I be telling these same things if my story had won an award!?!?!?@#&*+

On July 29, I went to Mysore to meet the freedom fighters, as their soundbytes was very necessary for our Independence Day celebration. I met 4 freedom fighters. and was enthralled by their life and struggle. Mr Seetaram Iyyengar was arrested by the police during the quit India movement when he was 17. He is now 80. He runs an old age home, works for the tribals and goes to villages to preach swadeshi and gramoddhar!!? What keeps his faith alive is what baffles. India right now is dead with gandhian ideals. But looking at thjese people, they are octagonerian and still they don't plan to retire and work till their last breath. For them gandhi is way of life!?!?!? Mysore was not the same to me that day. though I had been their couple of time, I had not walked its streets. It is a beautiful. I realised that you cannot understand history by reading about it. I strolled more and more in the area and tried to figure how the Maharajas, British and the freedom fighters must have played snake and ladders in these streets.! !!!! Lord, give me more time and strength to explore new truths.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

It is a great feeling when your work bears fruit. You feel all that you had endured was worth, And you are special. You know it when it happens. Yesterday (22/07/2006), our station went on air officially. Though it is not our true launch. But we announced the whole city that we are here now. I had goosebumbs when I heard my station jingle, whose lyrics I had written, was aired!!!! That was at 12:00a.m dot. We were in our office the whole night, early morning when our Jocks went on air, I felt on top of the world and bad at the same time. Top of the world for all those reasons why a mother would feel so happy, after a labourious hellish pain, seeing her baby. And bad because I want to go on air but I cannot for time being, because of that attrocious Reliance deal. . . . .

Har Kisi Ko Mukkammal Jahan Nahi Milta.
Kabhi Asmaan To Kabhi Zameen Nahi Milta.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Couldn't write for the whole week. Was busy with work in the new station. Great powers bring greater responsibilities. The job is getting challenging and it is pushing all my limits. I enjoyed this Sunday. I had worked like a donkey for the whole week and when got a sunday for myself, I respected all that time for it was the time that justified those times when I have never had time. I took my parents, brother, family to my workplace and showed my office. My mom was exhilarated and almost had tears over her son's achievements!!!!!!!!!!1
I purchased some DVDs and saw Pirates of carribeans and loved Jhonny Depp's acting. It was great. The mannerisms he had adopted to the character was a clear study for method acting students. So a week has started once again and it is back to work.

Even a Stopped watch is right twice a day.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

This weekend(9/07/2006) was very fruitful. I wrote a good story and have sent for the state level short story competition. The result will be out in 3 months. I saw a beautiful French movie, Amelie, and I was so thrilled after seeing it that I could see only clours around me. It is a beautiful story about how life is beautiful inspite of its adversities & the only way to be happy is by making others smile and not leting them know you were the reason!?
My Mom found that I lost my ring, and she went bonkers over it screaming, making the whole neighbourhood know how irresponsible freak I am. Most of the times, I feel my mom does it on purpose so that the girls in the neighbourhood think twice before aproaching me!!!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

I think the battle has begun. The organisation I had talked earlier was Reliance. I had attended their training and was devastated by their attitude and decided not to join them. Now How do I dare to defy them!? They had made me sign a contract whose terms I had never understood. When asked if I could consult someone else, they had strictly said 'nothing doin'. I had to either sign or get out. Now I like a Bufoon signed it without thinking. Then we went to training, and endured hell. at the end we made a rhyme;
When Faith starts to Tremble
When hope Starts to Tremble
When abilities get doubted
When decisions get questioned
Then. . . .
Then What else
It is Reliance Training.

Now they have slashed a case. I too have back answered them. Now lest us see how much more dirty it can get. After all a gutter cannot be cleand without getting dirty

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Today (4/07/2006), on the day of American Independence, this Indian was reminded of his slavery. Not so bad. I hav e had a small disagreement with one of the largest industrial organisation of india. i refused to work with them after signing a contract with them, on the grounds of non alignment of human rights treaty. Now how on earth can a dumb artist sing a revolutionary song agaisnst the greates power in India. They have to prove their power and set an example to the rest that no one can defy the rules, and it is a great crime to be different and a greater sin to be indifferent to their orders. So they have sent a notice that I have to pay them Rs.3,00,000/- or else they could go legal. I would definitely not pay them that amount for it would be accepting their attrocities. So may be next time I would be writing this blog from a prison. But I will be free. Because I choose it.